Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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