I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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