The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he was CRYING into my vagina
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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