On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
