I want to walk on stilts...naked
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
