He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
