I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
