My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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