Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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