i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
