I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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