I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize