ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
