He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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