They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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