I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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