i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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