You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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