I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
