Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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