a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
