So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
