He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
