im gay
i know
yea but for you.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
