I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
