I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
