Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
