There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Never underestimate the power of titties
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
