Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
