Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
