how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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