He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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