this just has baby written all over it
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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