I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
