i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
