There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
