i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
