ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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