How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
