I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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