brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
