My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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