addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Is it penis luge time yet?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
