I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
