Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
