I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
