Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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