I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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