My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
