I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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