No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
