Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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