I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
