I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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