I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
