is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
