I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize