I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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