You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
